Hi, it’s Barb.
I was thinking about this challenge of ‘nerves’ that’s a tough one.
And if you think you’re the only one, believe me, you’re not. It’s a challenge most of us have.
And I was thinking about it in the context of our horses. They get nervous, too.
I thought it would be fun to see the similarities… and the differences… between our horse’s nerves and ours, one solution that works for both, and who’s ultimately in charge of getting the situation back in the calmness column.
So, imagine you’re at a show or a clinic, or someplace away from home.
You pull up to feed, and your horse is pacing about in the stall. He’s worked up. He nickers with his head up.
But when he sees you, he feels comforted… and the hay and grain take his mind off of whatever was bugging him, too.
Fast forward to saddling time. He’s still fidgety and super distracted. He’s kind of a pain to saddle, really.
Now you’re in the warm-up arena. He is looking around like crazy. It feels like his feet are three feet off the ground.
You get the picture.
And on top of that, you were nervous and excited to begin with… just being there.
So now both of you are in the same boat. Somehow that doesn’t feel like the ideal situation!
Now, I want to step back for a moment and talk about the reasons why horses get nervous, and the reasons why people get nervous.
Horses typically fret about something that scared them in the recent past, like a loud bang that came from nowhere. Or, they fret about the present. Examples of that would be separation from their buddy or blowing flags in an arena or the wind. Obviously, those are just a few possible reasons.
So, their anxiety is about a not too distant past or the present.
By contrast, we humans get nervous because of our thoughts about the future. Will I ride well? Is my horse good enough to be here? Am I a good enough rider to be here? What if I make a fool of myself? I don’t feel ready… and on. What if I forget the pattern? What does so and so think of me?
So the horse’s anxiety is typically about something in the present. The rider is in the future and a projection of a poor outcome.
I have a solution for both you and your horse.
Bring your attention and your horse’s attention back to the present moment in ways that consciously relax both of you.
And here’s the key. It begins with us, the rider because we have to be in a calm state to bring our horse back to that place.
We are the leader. Without our calm and clear guidance, the horse has no way to bring his focus back. Plus, if we don’t get grounded, we will only escalate our horse’s anxiety. That’s no good.
How do you bring your attention and your horse’s attention back to the moment in ways that relax you?
First of all, that’s planned and practiced at home before you get to your event, so you have a game plan for how to handle it.
It’s not that you’re sure you’ll be nervous or your horse will lose it, but just in case you’ve got it covered.
Some ideas for you would be rhythmic breathing and a planned repetitive script spoken as a mantra, like, “Stay cool, Barb. Stay cool.” Notice that both the breathing and speaking to yourself are in a rhythm.
What would a plan for your horse look like?
Well, of course, that depends but walking in small circles with flexing, or some rhythmic exercise, like alternating changes in the speed of gaits are a couple of ideas.
Of course, in this podcast, I’m just brushing over the top of the surface of ideas.
But a key takeaway is for you to practice relaxation exercises for both you and your horse at home so you can use them in situations away from home.
And the most important idea of all is for you to practice ways to calm yourself, that really works because your horse needs you.
That’s what I have for you today.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Know you’re the best. Leave a comment—Bye-bye for now.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.
I can’t take credit for this because someone sent it to me, but it works for me to remember this truism….’if your mind can’t control your emotions, you will beat yourself every time’.
I do enjoy your podcasts – thank you.
Really love this. I enjoy your posts so much about staying calm, relaxing, staying focused. Even though I do not show this helps in every day riding. My mare sees the same things when riding where I board her and every once in awhile she spooks or is easily distracted. Reading these posts helps keep me in check so we have a better ride. Also my mare is extremely sensitive to my every move, can’t believe how just sitting straight looking up has improved her relaxation.
Perfect for myself and my horse Willy. As you know from trying him on flag a clinic he is a nervous horse. Am working on my breathing and slowing both of us down together. As I really feel we are one. Thank you
Wow how appropriate. Just showed my 5 year old for the first time and yep, nerves were definitely an issue. Heading to the Derby so I am so glad to hear this advice and practical ways to help work through nerves for me and him. 🙂
Very helpful! My gelding is high energy, sensitive, notices everything, although he is very technically correct and brave with cows, he can be a Nervous Nellie about other things. As an older person returning to riding you are right about refocusing on the now and not the what if? I need to be the steady rock for him so he doesn’t feel we are both adrift. The practical applications you have been giving us work. I have already seen a difference in my horse on the ground and I believe that is going to transfer to under saddle; and if… Read more »
So timely! I am working thru new pre-event and warm-up rituals for showing Pepsi who has some nervous energy vs Frijo and other horses I’ve shown…. Pepsi’s energy can be a little random, so I need the calming techniques and “energy up” techniques to apply to each of our events…..Need a plan A and a plan B, then also recovery spot during the show runs for each event…..fun challenges!