Did you ever notice how we all crave for things to be certain? We avoid change like the plague. We love thinking that FINALLY, we found the way it’s going to be … I like it and I don’t want any change.
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:
Funny, the most dramatic case of this is my life was when our son Zane was an infant. I was willing to do whatever he needed, of course, but it kept changing. As a young Mom, I would think, “Ok … I’ve got it now. He wakes up once a night at 2:00 and then goes back to bed until 6:00. I can plan around that.” Sure … that was good for about 2 days. And then it changed. I kept trying to figure it out.
But now, years later, I finally understand that things are always changing, even when we don’t realize it.
In our horse lives, when we first started riding, we just knew what we knew at that time. We thought we’d always ride the same horse … always be in the same barn … always go to the same shows.
But then, things changed. Our beloved horse got arthritis. The trainer moved. We were forced to take a break because of an accident, or financial reasons … or whatever.
And then we were on unsteady ground again.
As I continue to learn … and study great mentors in personal performance and personal growth, I have come to understand that those who continue to excel …even through change, have some things in common:
- They too are uncomfortable with change. But herein lies the difference: they don’t resist the change. They trust themselves and they trust their journey. They might say something to themselves like, “This is hard. I’m really sad … or maybe mad … but I’m strong.” So, when the trainer moves or you move away from your horsey friends, you know you will survive … and somehow find your way.
- Those who flow best with change believe there is some good that will come through the difficulty. Maybe they don’t know what it is, but they truly do believe it exists. They also know that only time and a willingness to see things that way will tell the tale. They don’t know how things will turn out … but again they trust their journey. This is a strong personal belief of mine. It has gotten me through some tough times in my personal life … or in my horse training life when a horse got sore … or a show didn’t go well for me … just to name a few.
- Next, those who flow best with change not only believe something good will come to pass … they actively look for it. For me, maybe not being able to ride one of my favorite horses, helped me see the good things in one of the other horses … things I had missed. For you, perhaps if you have to stop riding for a while, you can use that time to travel to big shows and watch … something you’ve wanted to do for years.
Yes … change is really hard … and it’s sad sometimes … and it almost always seems to kind of suck. But, after you grieve a bit (and give yourself time for that) … tell yourself that you are strong. Yes, you can survive. And yes, there is a gift in the misfortune. And when you’re ready … yes, go searching for it.
That’s what I have for you today. Scroll down and leave a comment for me. I would love that.
Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.
I love this pearl of wisdom. There are always changes happening in my life. When you allow yourself time to adjust to the change then tell yourself it is a season in my life. I will find the positive and focus on embracing new change and learning how to move forward and improve my attitude and my gratitude. I am still the same person inside and I will always have God beside me and helping me.
Thank you for the wise words and reminder that to go forward is always better than staying in the past that we can’t change…but maybe be more ready to head off a bad outcome by improving how we see the situation..on or off a horse
“There is a gift in the misfortune ” Love this Barb!🙌❤
Yes, on all counts. Have had to accept the death of horse 1 and horse number 2 is out with injury Horse 3 has never been a favorite but I’m finding her pretty special now. So thankful to have her. Lots to love. Grateful for her and the colts coming up. God always has a plan. I need to trust Him more even when it hurts. Thanks Barb.
Thank you for sharing such wisdom about change Barbra, this video has really helped me today!
You have said this well! Only when we’ve gone through a situation that feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to us, yet come out enriched with a greater connection to our faith, can we really experience the gifts that come out of our unexpected negative events!
So much truth to this! Cutting was something I was going to do when I won the lottery. I got a breast cancer diagnosis instead. After treatment the path just showed itself on how to begin cutting – without the lottery but with a much bigger and better emotional bank account behind me. And one of the best things I learned from you …. to work on my ability to make good decisions in tough situations. Not just in the cutting pen but in life! Thank you Barbra. You’re the best. Ride on.
Great article, Barbara! Thanks so much…it really hit home & resonated with my personal beliefs. I appreciate the reminder.
What a beautiful thought, to go looking for the gift, despite unpleasant change. I love it.
When, or how, do the people you’re referring to as being good at this, process their emotions?
The ability to call up calm and to control focus is very true and effective. Does it mean the sadness can just be done away with, or is there an intermediate step?
If there is, what does that look like for them?
Boy did you hit my situation on the head, I just moved from California to Texas and left my trainer, barn mates and years of routine with our 5 horses. Covid and moving messed up my 2020 season and my riding seemed to fall apart. I am looking for a new trainer, trying to fix the footing in my new covered arena and find time between boxes to even ride at all.
I am strong and God has a plan so onward we go. I am blessed with so much.
Hi Barb, have to agree wholeheartedly. I always told my children not to be afraid of change. Always keep in forward motion. If not, you might be going backward. Always thanking you for your insights. Georgia May
Such wise words of encouragement in these tough times we are all experiencing. So good to see you in Temecula last weekend Barb. Look forward to seeing you in January at the Art of the Cowgirl!
Hugs, Cindy Washbon
As we get older, change is more difficult to accept. But I always tell myself, that I need to find a way to make lemonade out of the lemons.