Winter Wisdom Opportunities
Let me know your thoughts, and Happy New Year!
Navigating Hurtful Situations
I want to share a story about a friend who called and wanted to chat about two experiences involving interactions with others.
One was that she’d been a helper on the cow crew at a show, turning out cattle for people boxing.
To make this story short, she had a great experience doing that. She showed for the first time, too, which was great. She was feeling good and excited.
Later, she read a social media comment, and one person was super critical of the show, especially the cow committee. The person said the cow crew didn’t know what they were doing and didn’t let the cows out at the right time.
She was disappointed and upset, which turned her whole idea of her weekend upside down. Now, remember that situation.
Then, she had another situation a few days later where she was picking up some hay. A guy started—it didn’t matter if it was a guy or a woman—but started quizzing her.
He was talking at her, not with her.
Both situations bring up a similar perspective for me.
When other people are hurtful – the work we must do is always within ourselves.
We can step back and reflect on what we thought about the situation.
At the show, my friend couldn’t do a part of a task she had never learned.
At the same time, we can allow others to be who they are without expending our energy, making them wrong, and going through all that.
We can keep returning to our hearts and learning from the situation, and then we can let it go.
Regarding the second situation, I know it’s time to change something when I don’t have a genuine conversation with somebody (as in an honest exchange of ideas).
I can change the subject or find an opportunity to step away gracefully and not engage in the conversation any longer, especially when I don’t feel heard, and there’s no back-and-forth of ideas.
Again, it always comes back to us.
It always comes back to doing the work within ourselves, allowing others to be who they are, learning what we can take from the exchange, and being confident in who we are.
Please leave a message for me.
Barb
My East Coast Adventure
When I was a consultant for a client’s broodmare program, my boss often said, “Barb, one of the secrets to success is you need to keep showing up.”
He went on to explain that, whether it’s business or personal, investing time in attending events can open doors.
We position ourselves to take advantage of opportunities, observe trends, become more informed, and make new friends.
Magic can happen, and worlds can open up.
Depending on the situation, showing up might feel adventurous or intimidating, but my client was right. Unique experiences happen when we ‘get out there’, and you never know what might happen.
Recently, I had the honor of giving three presentations on horseback and two seminars onstage at the Equine Affaire Expo in West Springfield, Massachusetts.
It was great to see long-time friends (notice I don’t call them old – LOL).
I so enjoyed the folks who rode with me. For the first time, I met some impressive professionals, observed trends, and saw how much the digital world has expanded and impacted us.
I enjoyed visiting a part of the US I don’t often see. It’s beautiful.
It reminded me of my former client’s consistent suggestion to ‘keep showing up.’
It reminded me to say ‘yes’ to opportunities to go, learn, be vulnerable, and see what I see.
I’m amazed by the connections I made and by the potential for more adventures.
Now, I’m passing this simple advice on to you. Keep showing up. If you’re inclined to do something, go for it.
When we venture out and about, it’s refreshing to the mind and spirit, and you never know what’s waiting for you just around the corner.
It could be magical.
Please leave a message for me.
Barb
Unstoppable Momentum
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO OR DOWNLOAD THE MINI-PODCAST
Transcript:
Hey, it’s Barb, and I want to talk to you today about an idea that’s really easy to understand, but it’s not always easy to do.
It’s called unstoppable momentum.
I discovered a woman, Marissa Murgatroyd, who does a lot of teaching online.
She has a type of ‘formula’ that makes a lot of sense to me.
It’s the idea of creating unstoppable momentum.
The part of the path she proposes has the same ideas I’ve experienced and taught, but I really like the way she combined them.
The idea is that we get very specific about what it is that we want – which is a vision.
Then, we set ourselves up for constant wins. (This is a major piece of the puzzle that is easy to brush off or overlook.)
Thirdly, we sustain motivation over time by acknowledging within ourselves, bigger and bigger wins, into what she calls, unstoppable momentum.
There are three steps.
The first step is that you imagine your future self becoming who you intend to become every step of the way of your learning.
Your future self is doing what you imagine, not just analytically, but feeling it.
You see in your mind whatever step you’re working on, and you add it to the vision of a becoming a beautiful rider.
This first step uses this idea of your future self in a very creative way.
The second step is celebrating the things you do well.
Now, again, this is something that I’ve talked about a lot and it’s easy to think, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, Barb, okay, I did that pretty good, but did you see what I messed up over there?” 😊
This is a powerful tool because, besides the fact that we get more of what we recognize and appreciate, we get excited every time we allow ourselves to acknowledge each little thing we do well as a win.
You get into the habit of thinking about small wins and being delighted by each little step. This builds confidence.
Here’s the third step.
As you develop these first two steps you start to get a feeling of certainty that nothing is ever going to get in your way, as you keep growing and learning because you are focused on and celebrating getting better and better.
You experience an uninterrupted flow of experience – wins – corrections – experience – wins – corrections.
You don’t revert back to, “I don’t know if I can do this.” You don’t sweep over the whole thing as in “That was horrible. That was great.”
That’s because you have the vision of yourself as a beautiful rider in whatever it is that you do – and you actively see how it’s happening.
You visualize what you’re about to do. You take the wins and you celebrate them.
You have unstoppable momentum.
So that’s what I have for you today.
It’s a little different version of a lot of the things that we’ve talked about in the past, but I really love the way she put it together.
Have a great week. And as always, you know, I love to hear from you.
Sustaining Motivation
Our journeys of riding and showing our horses have hills and valleys of success and empowerment – and then we don’t feel so strong!
At times, we feel discouraged. Maybe something happens to our horse – all kinds of things can happen.
In his research, Daniel Coyle discovered the idea of sustaining motivation.
It means discovering and practicing ways to stay encouraged and motivated during the ups and downs.
He says a mix of passion, perseverance, and self-discipline keeps us moving forward.
This ability to encourage ourselves makes all the difference in growing and enjoying our time with horses.
We’re not born with this instinct. It’s developed.
That’s a critical point. It’s the ability to lift ourselves by our bootstraps during hard times and find a way in, around, or through challenges.
It’s also a skill that separates people.
When you think about the people you admire the most, aren’t they the ones who keep going and overcome incredible challenges?
I want to share some tools and mindsets with you about sustaining motivation.
Could you revise the ‘why’ you ride? This is critical to your joy. Your reasons keep you juiced (: so to speak because they’re so personal – and not dependent upon results.
Another mindset is consistent gratitude.
You would agree that we are lucky and blessed to ride these beautiful horses. We’re fortunate to have the means and the ability to do what we do.
It’s pure joy – the people, the adventures, and the support we get from others and can return to our friends.
This next idea is from Coyle’s The Little Book of Talent – think like a gardener and work like a carpenter.
That idea makes so much sense to me because I love plants. It’s a stretch to say I’m a gardener. LOL
But I feel good when I watch over them and spend time with them. It’s relaxing and soulful for me.
The idea is that with gardening, you’re always getting the big picture:
How does the landscape look?
How are individual plants doing?
What must I do next to fill in or expand the garden?
Working like a carpenter is more specific, as it means being extraordinarily methodical and measuring your work. Carpenters put in a lot of hours to do the meticulous little things.
Sustaining motivation is about the big picture and then working on our next steps to keep building our skills. We make a plan and then work strategically and intently on it. We’re invested!
Next, our spirit needs nourishment. We know we need to eat food to nourish our body and hydrate.
The same goes for our souls. Wherever you draw inspiration from – lap it up.
Make time for it.
It may be your faith.
Perhaps it’s from the stories of people who overcame great challenges in their discipline or life.
Other sources are podcasts, books, or daily inspirations.
Wherever you get your inspiration, make it a part of what you do consistently – it matters.
Then there’s Angela Duckworth’s Grit Test online. It’s fun to take and can help us see the components of grit – where we’re strong and where we can choose which resilience parameters to improve.
I believe in you and wish you joy and belief in yourself.
Keep loving, learning, growing, and having a blast with your beautiful horse.
_________
MINDSETS FOR SUSTAINING MOTIVATION:
- Keep coming home to your heart – your passion, why, and values to so appreciate the extraordinary opportunity to ride a horse,
- Gratitude for all involved in your horse world.
- Think like a gardener – work like a carpenter.
- Make time for inspiration.
- Take Angela Duckworth’s Grit test online to drill down to more specific information about you and grit:https://mcnairscholars.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/12-item-Grit-Scale-Angela-Duckworth.pdf.
- Keep learning, growing, and having fun.