Getting and Keeping Your Horse Soft

Our horse is a self-reflecting feedback system. It responds to what we are
feeling and who we are being, more than just what we are thinking or doing. Our
horse is always a reflection of our present state: not always instantly, but always
reliably.

A month or so ago, I wrote an article on why softening your horse is important,
then I did one on which side is stiff and which is hollow. Continuing on with that
thread, today my article is a few general rules on how horses learn to get soft
and why and of course how to keep them that way!

It’s a well-known fact that horses learn from the release of pressure not the
application of it. But what does that really mean? Let’s take stopping. If we pull
on the reins, eventually the horse stops. It may be the pulling that gets them
stopped, but it’s the release of that pressure that teaches them to stop. More
important, the release is what makes them want to stop. If we don’t release
when they do stop and allow them to relax and recover, we don’t create the
desire in them to want to it. A horse that wants to stop can then easily be taught
the next lesson… how we want them to stop.

If on the other hand there is no release, then a horse gets resistant and
defensive. It hurts and they don’t see a way to please us. When that horse hears
you say “whoa” he braces for the immediate and continuous discomfort instead
of knowing that as soon as he stops, the pressure will immediately cease, and he
can relax and even get a pat and a rest.

With no release, they either give up, get hard mouthed, try to anticipate
maneuvers, brace or get hollow and stiff. But when the release is immediate,
they learn to crave and offer it. This principle goes across everything we do with
our horse. They don’t learn to move away from your leg because you’re kicking
them with it, but rather when they do move away, you release your leg.

As your timing gets better, you’ll find yourself releasing when you first feel them
think to stop. That’s why some people can get results from a horse more quickly
than others. And with consistency, feel and the release principle, you will feel
your horse getting softer. All “softer” means is that your horse is more
responsive (not to be confused with reactive) to very subtle cues and stays
relaxed through his body, yielding willingly to the riders almost imperceptible
movements.

We keep them soft by always staying present and in tune with what we’re
asking, how we’re asking for it, and how it’s being responded to. Always starting
with the softest request and incrementally increasing it until we feel the
response, followed by an immediate release. If we go past their correct response
with increasing force, things go the other way and our horses start getting dull,
heavy and unresponsive. Soon, it takes a mighty pull to cease motion instead of a
small deepening shift in our seat with a soft feel of the reins.

Gerald O’Brien, an Aussie liberty trainer, once told me first you have to get a
horse to willingly comply with your request (ie crave doing that maneuver). Only
then can you show him how you want it done. When they consistently offer that,
then you get to increase the speed. That might be some of the wisest words I’ve heard.