This time of year is such a perfect time to think about 2022 – what we want to accomplish – why we want to achieve it – and what success looks like. Then – what is our path to get there?

I think about new beginnings first regarding the what and why as such essential pieces to ponder.

We tend to think about the logistics of the path, like – where we’ll take lessons – how we’re going to be coached – and who is going to train our horse.

That’s important, but I like to start with the foundation of determining what brings you joy (why do you even ride?)

Then ponder, what is it that you need technically? What does your horse need technically? How will you get each of you improving in the areas that need improving – and then how will you get the connection between the two of you going?

Does your horse stay calm and focused? How will you think in empowering ways and use your body in ways that call up confidence? You’ll need to hone your horse’s mental and emotional skills along with your own.

So again, I think of planning to shore up our needs, our horse’s needs, and then blend them.

When you think about what you’d like to accomplish in 2022, it should be something that makes you so happy.

Next, let’s talk about decisions regarding your horse’s and your technical skill development.

First, you and your horse are a team. In teamwork, of course, it takes two or more to achieve the desired result, and it’s not a solo act.

As a rider, we are the team leader with our horses. It takes two to tango.

I often see amateurs and nonpros feel as if they are responsible for every weakness their horse has or they have. They think they should know most things ‘by now.’ But the reality is they’ve never had the opportunity to learn those skills.

Your horse brings their own set of trained technical skills to the table, and you get your set of riding skills. It’s best not to feel burdened by the pressure you put on yourself to be more advanced than you are.

Yes, you do need to be as objective as you can, perhaps with the help of a coach or professional. Please do your best to understand what horsemanship and technical skills you need next and how to learn them.

The same is necessary to consider for your horse.

In addition to a professional trainer or coach, there is additional information to be found online or by hearing the comments of those more experienced than you.

I think it’s fun to think of your job as a rider, like being a detective. Do your homework. Pick what information resonates with you for your riding and to improve your horse. No one person or resource knows everything. Have fun gathering information wherever you find it. That is the way of learning to be a good rider and horse person.

Above all, please do not blame yourself for being behind. You are never behind, and you are on a magnificent – and very personal – adventure with your horse. Enjoy every moment.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

I love this time of year. It’s unique in so many ways. The weather is refreshing, the colors are gorgeous, and there’s a lot of change going on.

For many, it’s a special show season.

In this video, I want to shout out to my friends who are going to their final weekend show, large year-end competition, futurity, or some other big show – and you feel excited. And I know, of course, you want to do well.

First, know that I’m rooting for you. You’ve worked hard, and this is your time. Go for it. Have fun. Focus. Give it all you’ve got and enjoy the experience.

One of my favorite things about showing (or anytime there’s a performance involved and you want to do something extraordinary in front of others) is getting into that place of a calm, yet energized, and laser-focused state of mind and body. It feels like a total immersion into the best of you and your horse.

Nothing exists except you and your horse and doing your job.

One way to practice being in that place is to think through how you want it to go at the highest level possible for you and your horse. Write it down. Then visualize it. Practice being there so when you are at the show, it feels like you’ve been in that physical show arena – you’ve been on your horse – and both of you are doing your glorious thing – a million times already!

Here’s my second thought for you.

Going to the show is not the time to catch up on training. That part of preparation was done at home.

Treat yourself and your horse to the time it takes to easily get ready on show day – to show your best. You’re not entering an arena to cover up your weaknesses.

If your horse has some spots that need help, plan how you will do that at the show, but for support, not trying to finish out your training.

It’s not your job to be perfect in the show pen. It’s about going for excellence. Staying focused and loose by thoroughly preparing on show day will help you do that.

So those are your exercises.

Rehearse over and over in your mind, who are you and your horse at your best? Get that picture and feel it in your mind and body. Don’t let it go.

And then give yourself all the time you need to do what you need to do to get you and your horse ready to walk into the arena feeling on top of the world.

None of us have any control over results. They always take care of themselves.

Have a blast. How lucky we all are to have the opportunity to be with our horses and the people we love.

Leave a comment for us, please. We love hearing from you.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

A while back, I did a personal performance clinic in Florida at an English barn. They invited me to ride one of their jumpers over some low jumps at the end of the day. FUN!

In the clinic, I discussed the importance of keeping our eyes up. I coached the riders to do the same.

This is a critical technical skill for all disciplines, and from my perspective as a Performance Coach, keeping our eyes up builds confidence and helps maintain it throughout our ride.

So now I’m on a jumping horse. I started down the line to go over a set of crossbars and – whoa! – I went right around the outside of them! My eyes weren’t up and looking where I needed to go. Obviously, I didn’t feel confident. I didn’t look past the jump or go down the middle of it!

We had a good chuckle out of that one.

We all KNOW we need to keep our eyes up when we ride. Our horses follow our eyes, and we stay focused – but – we tend to drop our eyes constantly.

We can help ourselves keep our eyes up by consistently coaching ourselves to keep looking where we want to go. And then we do!

This works because when we continually look where we’re going, our body moves in specific ways. The horse feels these subtle changes through our seat and legs and responds accordingly.

The other reason is a little less tangible – it’s as if our horse gets an invisible message like a laser beam from our eyes to their brain!

From a personal performance point of view, keeping your eyes up calls up and sustains a feeling of calm and focus.

What huge multiple wins when you keep your eyes looking in the direction you intend to go. You direct your horse’s movement almost effortlessly – and – you feel confident and focused on the inside.

But as I said before, we ALL tend to look down. It feels more ‘natural. However, if you commit to coaching yourself to keep your eyes up and focus ahead to where you’re going, you will have a powerful impact on your confidence, and your horse will be more responsive.

Have fun and feel good communicating with your horses with your eyes.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

Hi, it’s Barb.

I was thinking about this challenge of ‘nerves’ that’s a tough one.

And if you think you’re the only one, believe me, you’re not. It’s a challenge most of us have.

And I was thinking about it in the context of our horses. They get nervous, too.

I thought it would be fun to see the similarities… and the differences… between our horse’s nerves and ours, one solution that works for both, and who’s ultimately in charge of getting the situation back in the calmness column.

So, imagine you’re at a show or a clinic, or someplace away from home.

You pull up to feed, and your horse is pacing about in the stall. He’s worked up. He nickers with his head up.

But when he sees you, he feels comforted… and the hay and grain take his mind off of whatever was bugging him, too.

Fast forward to saddling time. He’s still fidgety and super distracted. He’s kind of a pain to saddle, really.

Now you’re in the warm-up arena. He is looking around like crazy. It feels like his feet are three feet off the ground.

You get the picture.

And on top of that, you were nervous and excited to begin with… just being there.

So now both of you are in the same boat. Somehow that doesn’t feel like the ideal situation!

Now, I want to step back for a moment and talk about the reasons why horses get nervous, and the reasons why people get nervous.

Horses typically fret about something that scared them in the recent past, like a loud bang that came from nowhere. Or, they fret about the present. Examples of that would be separation from their buddy or blowing flags in an arena or the wind. Obviously, those are just a few possible reasons.

So, their anxiety is about a not too distant past or the present.

By contrast, we humans get nervous because of our thoughts about the future. Will I ride well? Is my horse good enough to be here? Am I a good enough rider to be here? What if I make a fool of myself? I don’t feel ready… and on. What if I forget the pattern? What does so and so think of me?

So the horse’s anxiety is typically about something in the present. The rider is in the future and a projection of a poor outcome.

I have a solution for both you and your horse.

Bring your attention and your horse’s attention back to the present moment in ways that consciously relax both of you.

And here’s the key. It begins with us, the rider because we have to be in a calm state to bring our horse back to that place.

We are the leader. Without our calm and clear guidance, the horse has no way to bring his focus back. Plus, if we don’t get grounded, we will only escalate our horse’s anxiety. That’s no good.

How do you bring your attention and your horse’s attention back to the moment in ways that relax you?

First of all, that’s planned and practiced at home before you get to your event, so you have a game plan for how to handle it.

It’s not that you’re sure you’ll be nervous or your horse will lose it, but just in case you’ve got it covered.

Some ideas for you would be rhythmic breathing and a planned repetitive script spoken as a mantra, like, “Stay cool, Barb. Stay cool.” Notice that both the breathing and speaking to yourself are in a rhythm.

What would a plan for your horse look like?

Well, of course, that depends but walking in small circles with flexing, or some rhythmic exercise, like alternating changes in the speed of gaits are a couple of ideas.

Of course, in this podcast, I’m just brushing over the top of the surface of ideas.

But a key takeaway is for you to practice relaxation exercises for both you and your horse at home so you can use them in situations away from home.

And the most important idea of all is for you to practice ways to calm yourself, that really works because your horse needs you.

That’s what I have for you today.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

Know you’re the best. Leave a comment—Bye-bye for now.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been observing riders who are absolutely killing it… recreational riders, teachers, coaches, and competitive riders.

I’ve observed 3 things in all of them make them stand out, and inspire me.

I hope becoming more clear about these 3 attributes inspires you, too.

And the best news is, all three are yours for the taking! You have to do them for yourself consistently.

AUDIO TRANSCRIPT:

Hello, my friends.

I’ve been getting a lot of requests for podcasts, so here you go.

The quest for learning and excelling… and being happy… and helping our horses… and providing well for their happiness… can be fun… and exasperating all at the same time!

And believe me, I’m right in there with you digging deep for these things in my own life in general, and with my horse.

I’ve always been fascinated with the human, horse, and human/horse potential together. It drives my passions.

It’s exciting for me to uncover even the simplest of ideas or tools that we absolutely CAN DO that open up wonderful doors for us. Of course, when we work on ourselves, it immediately helps our relationship with our horse.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been observing riders who are absolutely killing it… recreational riders, teachers, coaches, and competitive riders.

I’ve observed 3 things in all of them make them stand out… and inspire me.

I hope becoming more clear about these 3 attributes inspires you, too.

And the best news is, all three are yours for the taking! You have to do them for yourself consistently.

#1. They have a drive for excellence for its own sake, not for recognition from the outside world.

They have tremendous personal passion for what they do.

These riders LOVE their job with a horse, whether it’s showing, teaching, or training. And they want to be fabulous at it so they can experience the excellence of it for themselves.

Just the excitement of getting out there, doing it, and seeing how good they can get thrills them.

They see standards set by others as inspiration and something to strive for… and maybe even exceed… but it’s not about beating others. It’s to see what’s possible for themselves.

They’re immersed in their own job with their own horse.

Every day is an adventure and an opportunity to learn and excel.

#2. They have the ability to focus on the process and not the results.

They’re all about the horse and the truths about communicating with a horse.

How does a horse understand?

How can I read my horse better?

How can I do better to build their confidence and show them what I want?

These riders love learning and measure everything as compared to themselves and how they’re doing with their horse… not to other people and their horses.

#3. They never give up.

And while these riders absolutely DO have their vulnerable moments, they have learned that their journey is an awesome one.

There is nothing innately lacking in them.

They have learned that HOPE is a verb, not a noun. They will find a way around or through a challenge. In fact, sometimes, the harder it gets, the more they love the challenge.

Challenges and setbacks are to be expected in their eyes.

In fact, problems are their greatest sources of insight about exactly where they should improve, which brings us back around full-circle to the love of excellence for its own sake and focusing on the process, not the results.

What’s interesting is that sometimes their extraordinary success is almost a surprise because they’ve been so consumed by what they’re doing!

So here’s a path to adopting these three characteristics for yourself.

Tap in first and foremost to your own heart.

Make sure you love what you’re doing for its own sake. If you don’t, change it.

Keep reaching one step at a time because you love what you do so much that you can’t wait to learn and do it more.

Know that you’re always enough. Your personal worth is not measured by how you ride a horse!

Your journey is your greatest source of joy for you!

Most of all, have a blast.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

Did you ever notice how we all crave for things to be certain? We avoid change like the plague. We love thinking that FINALLY, we found the way it’s going to be … I like it and I don’t want any change.

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Funny, the most dramatic case of this is my life was when our son Zane was an infant. I was willing to do whatever he needed, of course, but it kept changing. As a young Mom, I would think, “Ok … I’ve got it now. He wakes up once a night at 2:00 and then goes back to bed until 6:00. I can plan around that.” Sure … that was good for about 2 days. And then it changed. I kept trying to figure it out.

But now, years later, I finally understand that things are always changing, even when we don’t realize it.

In our horse lives, when we first started riding, we just knew what we knew at that time. We thought we’d always ride the same horse … always be in the same barn … always go to the same shows.

But then, things changed. Our beloved horse got arthritis. The trainer moved. We were forced to take a break because of an accident, or financial reasons … or whatever.

And then we were on unsteady ground again.

As I continue to learn … and study great mentors in personal performance and personal growth, I have come to understand that those who continue to excel …even through change, have some things in common:

• They too are uncomfortable with change. But herein lies the difference: they don’t resist the change. They trust themselves and they trust their journey. They might say something to themselves like, “This is hard. I’m really sad … or maybe mad … but I’m strong.” So, when the trainer moves or you move away from your horsey friends, you know you will survive … and somehow find your way.
• Those who flow best with change believe there is some good that will come through the difficulty. Maybe they don’t know what it is, but they truly do believe it exists. They also know that only time and a willingness to see things that way will tell the tale. They don’t know how things will turn out … but again they trust their journey. This is a strong personal belief of mine. It has gotten me through some tough times in my personal life … or in my horse training life when a horse got sore … or a show didn’t go well for me … just to name a few.
• Next, those who flow best with change not only believe something good will come to pass … they actively look for it. For me, maybe not being able to ride one of my favorite horses, helped me see the good things in one of the other horses … things I had missed. For you, perhaps if you have to stop riding for a while, you can use that time to travel to big shows and watch … something you’ve wanted to do for years.

Yes … change is really hard … and it’s sad sometimes … and it almost always seems to kind of suck. But, after you grieve a bit (and give yourself time for that) … tell yourself that you are strong. Yes, you can survive. And yes, there is a gift in the misfortune. And when you’re ready … yes, go searching for it.

That’s what I have for you today. Scroll down and leave a comment for me. I would love that.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

Although many families have slowly returned to the routines they followed before the COVID-19 pandemic began, your household may still be self-isolating. Perhaps one of your family members is an essential worker who does not want to risk spreading the virus, or maybe you have a child with a medical condition that makes them especially vulnerable to COVID-19. If your family has been in isolation for quite a while, you may be grappling with household tensions. Here are a few strategies to help you address the roots of these issues.

Lack of Physical Activity

Perhaps your family was quite active before the pandemic, but after a few months indoors, you’ve slowly slipped from practicing those wellness habits. A lack of exercise may have you all feeling grouchy, sluggish, and irritable. With a solid workout routine, you’ll be able to release the tension you’ve been feeling – just try to choose exercises your kids can keep up with! If you’ll be going outside, pack masks and go over the guidelines for wearing them with your kids, just in case. And if you’ve been indulging in comfort food and takeout throughout this pandemic, prioritize cooking healthy meals instead.

As a parent, you may be craving an opportunity to get away for a little while and get fit while you’re at it. A horseback riding retreat with the team at BeUnstoppable could be the perfect solution! Benefits abound—you’ll be able to enjoy the great outdoors, work out, and embrace a temporary change of pace.

Kick Boredom to the Curb

Despite your best efforts to keep your children entertained, boredom may have set in by now. Boredom can definitely contribute to rising household tensions, so it might be time to pick up a new family hobby that you can all enjoy together!

Consider giving online multiplayer gaming a try. Just make sure that you have a strong Internet connection to handle the demands. You may want to get your household hooked up with a fiber optic connection through a company like Verizon, which will boost your download speeds and ensure that you can enjoy smoother gameplay. Don’t forget to set some sensible screen time limits for your kids!

Addressing Loneliness

After spending so much time at home with little outside social interaction, your kids might be feeling lonely – and you can probably relate. Loneliness can definitely factor into household tensions. Maybe it’s time to add a little pizzazz to your usual video chats with friends and relatives! Try to incorporate fun games and interactive virtual activities into video chat sessions. This can help your kids feel like it’s a digital playdate.

Processing Sadness

Your children might feel sad about plans and opportunities they’ve missed out on because of the pandemic. That sadness can turn into anger. Parent Map states that it is important to validate your child’s feelings, even if they are having a meltdown. Taking a deep breath to soothe your own anxieties is also crucial!

Once you have helped your child calm down, you will often find they are upset about something and need some cheering up. AllProDad recommends giving plenty of hugs and encouragement, and compliment them on everything they’ve handled well since the beginning of the pandemic. Give them something to look forward to as well – talk about all of the fun plans you can make once it’s safe again!

The pandemic has tested families everywhere, and if you’ve been struggling to deal with rising tensions in your household, you are not alone! However, you do not have to resign yourself to living with these sources of stress going forward. With these tips, you’ll be able to make your family’s days feel a little brighter.

This article was submitted by Emma Grace Brown (Guest Author)

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

This week was the year anniversary of the passing of my dear friend, Audrey Griffin who so inspired me. Audrey was 82 when she passed. She was a member of the Cowgirl Hall of Fame.

Thinking about the impact Audrey had on my life, reminded me to remind you about something very important in all of our lives.

That’s what this week’s video is all about.

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT AND COMMENT LINK: 

Heh, it’s Barb.

You’ve probably heard me say that nothing happens on the outside of us until it happens on the inside of us first.

And just like learning the many different technical skills of riding (horsemanship, communicating with a horse, discipline-specific maneuvers, etc.)… learning mental and emotional skills for riding is exactly the same. There are many pieces and parts of the internal game of riding and high performance.

What we’re really doing when we learn the mental and emotional skills is unlocking our true potential.

One of those internal pieces is to understand the power of inspiration.

Somehow we know that being inspired is important. We all love to be inspired!

However, the work of Daniel Coyle brought to light the true impact of inspiration in our lives for me. As he studied great performers from all over the world in his research, he learned one thing they all had in common.

They each had someone (or maybe a couple of people) who Inspired them in this way. “If he or she can do it, I can do it!”

I’ve known about this power of inspiration for a while now, but I was reminded again about it this week.

It is the year anniversary of the passing of my dear friend, Audrey Griffin who so inspired me. Audrey was 82 when she passed. She was a member of the Cowgirl Hall of Fame.

Audrey always made you feel like you were her best friend! Everybody felt like they were her best friend! We all felt loved by her.

I also admired her incredible character. (And she was a character, too!) She had a very generous spirit. She was clear about her thoughts. She knew (for her) what was right and what was wrong.

Plus she was quite the rider! As a young girl, she was a Roman Rider, which is how she got into the Cowgirl Hall of Fame. And she never stopped riding!

At the age of 82, she still loved to go to the ranches in California and help the cowgirls and cowboys brand and rope.

In fact, she passed away on her own horse, loping across a ranch pasture. She had a heart attack.

When I think of Audrey, I am truly inspired to be a better person… to be a better rider… to live life to the fullest.

Her anniversary reminded me… to remind you… to think about the people who inspire you. Know that if he or she can do it, you can do it!

Keep bolstering a belief in yourself by looking to those people and to those sources of inspiration that resonate with you. Nourishing your spirit with inspiration is a power-packed way to help all of us keep unlocking our potential.

That’s my message for today. I hope you have a great day. I hope you have a great week. Let me know what you think in the comments.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

The shows are really beginning to open up now. Hallelujah! 
 
This quote so inspired me when I reread it this week, that I wanted to share my thoughts with you about showing. It’s one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Jim Loehr:
 
“When you ride, you’re deepening your sense of joy and appreciation for this opportunity with your horse. You’re learning so much about yourself and your horse. The whole thing is such a fabulous gift in your life. If you win great championships and if you win great medals, that’s just icing on the cake.”

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT AND COMMENT LINK: 

Hey, it’s Barb.

I know that a lot of the shows are beginning to open up across the country. That’s so exciting! 

If you compete, I also know you’re really happy about this because we’re all ready to get out. And showing is such a great opportunity to see your friends and have fun!

I want to take a few minutes today to just talk about competition a little bit. Here’s the thing. 

We always think so much about competition in terms of how we and our horses compare to other people… and how were judged… and the results.

Black and white results are important, of course. I’m not minimizing that at all.

I do want to share a little research with you that I think is insightful. It might also be a little bit surprising to you. 

When Dr. Loehr did his original performance research, which was all about performer skills and one’s ability to perform under pressure in any competitive arena… as time went on… he found that if certain athletes did do well, they felt they had to do well again… and again… and again. When their whole purpose was to achieve external results alone, they found themselves on a never-ending wheel of proving themselves. They had to continue to be the best, and never slip-up, at least in their minds!

That’s insatiable, really. 

But what further research showed is that when athletes knew their personal values, that is they knew why they competed and they knew what was important to them. They knew they were becoming more as a person. They knew they were enjoying their friends. They knew each competition was an opportunity to put themselves on the line and stretch! Then, they were happier and kept growing personally. 

So if we as riders have great challenges and things don’t work out very well in the show pen… we can still know that riding and showing a horse is an awesome gift in our lives. We can get up again and brush ourselves off and keep going and growing.

It really boils down to knowing and appreciating what a tremendous opportunity it is to show a horse beyond the end of the day results. 

We can celebrate our friends. We can keep reaching for excellence, keep striving and keep learning. 

Whether you win or whether you don’t win… whether you place or you don’t place, you can review your ride and evaluate all by your own scorecard. What did you do well, and what can you do better? What do you need to work on for the next time you show?

Reaching and learning and enjoying continues on forever. It never changes.

Most importantly, because of these fabulous ups and downs, through it all, as a person you are growing… and becoming… and experiencing!

Again, your friends, the horse you’re riding, and all of your adventures… these are what’s remembered and cherished.

That being said, go get ‘em and have a great time! Stay encouraged. Stay focused on your path. Keep reaching and improving. Measure all by your own scorecard. 

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS 

Staying home for the past few weeks has given me, probably like you, some time to reflect.

There are a couple of powerful ideas that are central to personal performance training that not only work with our horses but also in our daily lives. I want to share them here with you. 

But first, I want to take a moment to thank the health care workers, the grocery store clerks and all those who are the true heroes on the front lines of this pandemic. I also think we need to thank their families. It’s worrisome and exhausting for everyone. They are the ones who are putting themselves in harm’s way for us. I can only imagine how hard that must be… so thank you all.

The challenge is that now (because we have no idea how to handle a pandemic), we have unsettling emotions wash over us. We often have no idea what to do with. 

We feel vulnerable. That’s never comfortable. 

The first idea I want to share from my personal performance training is becoming aware of our own emotions… our own energy state… and then choosing how we will respond to how we feel at any moment in time.

If we find ourselves in a state of emotion that does not serve us, we truly have the power to change it.

It’s a practice. We’re all a work in progress.

It’s not to say that not feeling nervous or fearful or vulnerable is the goal. That would be impossible. We all experience all kinds of emotions all across the board many times throughout every day with our horses and of course, during these current times.

But I think these vulnerabilities and unsteady feelings give us opportunities to develop qualities that serve us well in riding and in living.

The first is self-awareness.

When we ride, and now, we make it a priority to tune into our own emotions on a regular basis. For example, we get grounded before we get on. We get present in the moment with our horse. We take a breath and leave the rest of the world behind.

The way it works in our everyday lives is that we notice how we are feeling. We lean into it. We are aware and then we make a choice of how to respond.

The second step is to respond first with calmness. In riding, breathing consistently for the goal of being in a state wherein you can make the best choices possible, sets you up for success. 

Next, talk to yourself to either let mistakes go or coach yourself through what you need to do. These two tools are truly so empowering.

In these times, when feelings I’ve never experienced before wash over me, I notice them. I do my best to lean into them… and breathe. I have some favorite go-to quotes or scripture verses… or I decide if the fear I feel requires action, I’ll do my best to take that action… or will I just let the feelings wash through me?

I don’t just believe, I know, that as we lean into our vulnerabilities, whether it’s with our horses to make a prettier lead change, or lean into challenges in our lives that we never dreamt would happen… we can take a moment, get calm and then decide on our next best steps.

Every time we do this simple process, we set ourselves up to choose thoughts and actions that empower us and then find solutions.

Let me know what you think about this three-step process of becoming self-aware, cultivating calmness and then making choices.

Blessings to you and stay safe, dear friends.

LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS